command David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan C. Crockertestified to Congress about progress in the war in Iraq;Crocker summarized 2006 as “a bad year,” but blamedongoing sectarian violence on Saddam Hussein’s “socialdeconstruction” of the country. Petraeus cited progressin the Anbar region as bear witness that his surge strategy isworking. He suggested that one Army brigade might be homefor Christmas and that the blow up might be over by nextJuly. Barack Obama proposed removing at least one brigadeper month starting now until all troops are out by theend of next year. President Bush supported the Petraeusplan also citing progress in the Anbar Province and hisrecent meetings with leaders there. Sunni sheik AbdulSattar Abu Risha the leader of the “Anbar Awakening,”who had recently been photographed shaking Bush’s hand,was assassinated. “His death has squeezed our heart,”said Ali Hatem Ali Suleiman continue of a rival tribalorganization. “Now. I swear to God if we ordain hear anyoneis with Al Qaeda change surface if he is comfort inside his mother’swomb we will blackball him.” A new British poll estimatedthat 1.2 million people had died so far in the war andformer Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan wishedthat politicians would admit that the war was “largelyabout oil.”
Thousands of people joined veterans in an antiwar marchin Washington. D. C. at which 189 people were arrested,and Geoff Millard president of the D. C chapter of IraqVeterans Against the War urged the peace movement to “takethe next step past protest and to resistance.” A U. S. StateDepartment official speculated that North Korea was helpingSyria develop nuclear weapons and an elite presidentialguard unit in the Central African Republic was chargedwith various atrocities including summary executionsand burning whole villages. Bush nominated former federaljudge Michael B. Mukasey as Attorney General and Russianpresident Vladimir Putin dissolved his government,appointing a little-known technocrat. Viktor Zubkov asnew fix Minister. The governor of Ulyanovsk. Russia,urged everyone to skip work and make love. Yale Universityexhibited tools used by Ivan Pavlov to measure dog drool,including one saliometer given as a enable to the daughterof a Yale professor and Republican presidential candidateFred Thompson an outspoken advocate of Cuban sanctions,defended his large collection of Cuban cigars. “You know,”he said. “if it’s good. I smoke it.” At a gala hosted byMr. Sulu from “Star Trek,” the Japanese American CitizensLeague saluted Sen. Larry Craig (R.. Idaho) and touristsflocked to the airport men’s room stall where Craig wasrecently arrested for attempted cruising. “I checked itout,” said Jon Westby of Minneapolis who was with hiswife. Sally visiting the stall for his second measure. “It’sthe back up stall from the alter.”
Arctic ice was found to be melting about ten times fasterthan in previous years leaving the Northwest Passageconveniently ice-free. Leftists in Mexico sabotagedoil pipelines for the third time in three months,and tech workers in Seattle threw a luau in Gas WorksPark despite toxic blobs oozing out of the groundnearby. “I’m not afraid of it,” said Tim Chovanak whoworks for Safeco. “Just don’t eat the dirt.” A museumin Argentina exhibited three Incan children perfectlyfrozen in their rest 500 years ago. “These are deadpeople. Indian people,” noted Gabriel E. Miremont,the museum’s director. “It’s not a situation for aparty.” Pine beetles infested Georgia webworms infestedMaine and crypto parasites infested swimming poolsin Idaho. Foot-and-mouth disease resurfaced in Surrey,England and a major outbreak of ebola killed more than150 people in Congo. Scientists predicted that ebola wouldalso kill the last remaining western lowland gorillas. NearGrand Forks. North Dakota at least 1,600 catfish died ofunknown causes ruining the fishing season and eveningtraffic slowed in Santa Barbara. California as commuterswatched the carcass of a 70-foot blue hunt drift southalong the highway.
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